A new beginning

I have been doing some soul searching and I have finally FINALLY come to a decision that I will let NOTHING and NO ONE.... really NO ONE, not even people who I consider close friends and who turn on me for no reason ever get me down again EVER.

I have for so long been getting advise from my hubby and family and some friends not to let these nasty, gossipy, vindictive and childish people affect me and so after the affair gossip bullshit, I spent some time in my thoughts and on April 12th, I came to that conclusion - that the only thing I should care about is not about whether my colleagues or supposed "friends" are happy with me or like me or whatever, but that first and foremost, that I am right with God and secondly, my husband and thirdly, my family.

I felt such a huge burden lift off my shoulders after that decision and the next week which was last week, when someone at the office who is supposed to be my good friend turned around and accused me unfairly without even knowing the facts and also got angry and showed her true colours because she did not like me telling her; even though it was put very nicely; that I did not like something she had said to me as I felt it was as if she was disrespecting me as the boss; ..... well it didn't affect me at all..

Previously, I would have been hurt and upset by thate, but the amazing thing is that I wasn't! The only thing is even though I have come across many cases of people not knowing where to draw the line between work and friendship, well I was surprised in this case because this was totally unexpected from this person who I have seen as a good friend for so long. And I found it so funny that the person that she has bad mouthed about many times previously was the first person she went too see to bitch about it.... and did some of the same things this person has done before which she laughed at her for!! I had a good laugh about that.

So I am glad that God has helped me to not get affected about all this. And I have learned my lesson - AGAIN and I hope for the last time - to be friendly with people at work but to not be friends with them.... again it reinforces to me why I only have a small group of very good friends that I trust with knowing every single thing in my life - because no matter what happens - I know that we can always count on each other. My best friend B...we met when we started working together years ago. And we used to have disagreements at work - and we would fight - but then after that we would be back to normal because we knew how to differentiate work issues with personal issues and we never let one affect the other. So no matter how many times we got pissed off with each other with work issues or got told off about mistakes or wrong doings or whatever, we could still go for lunch and hang out after work and on weekends with no malice, no hard feelings and no issues because we knew how not to cross the lines... That is why we ended being best friends.

I miss Bobo. I called her yesterday and we had a nice talk. She thought it funny that when I am on MC and at home, I don't call her but when I am at work, I can call her :-) I am a bad friend for which I apologised. I miss her and I am looking forward to seeing her in a few weeks. It is her daughters 1st birthday party on the 9th of May so I am going to go and spend time with them. I am looking forward to that; definitely!

I truly have joy in my heart. I have been feeling very happy these past 2 weeks. While circumstances are not perfect in my life; but I have so much blessings too and so much to be thankful for. So I can honestly say that I am happy and I am going to constantly remind myself of the blessings and joy in my life and try to be a blessing to others.

I hope that all my loved ones will also keep the flame of Joy and Love alive in their hearts!