Progress

I was waiting for Shirley to come and weigh me today so that I could update but unfortunately she got into a car accident nearby my office and so had to cancel the appointment. Gosh I feel so bad for her.

But i am also a bit happy because I know that I have probably not gone down this week. So next week I better lose a lot!

Rayna and I are starting the Kelloggs K challenge to see if they are actually genuine in what they say. Basically on their box they are asking people to take the 2 week challenge where you have the Kelloggs K for 2 meals with low fat milk ( 1 serving size) and eat 1 normal meal and you can drop 1 jean size in 2 weeks.., So i am going to experiment and see if its true. This starts tomorrow!

Tonight I am going to indulge in a Krispy Kreme doughnut. Ivan and Rayna bought it on Monday but I have been resisting eating one. Tonight I will have one!! bad bad bad girl!

I am going to start going on the treadmill today onwards. I cant go fast or for too long but hey 15 minutes of walking at a speed of 1.9 is better than not moving at all right?!

I need to be strong. I find myself being tempted and starting to go down the downward path that i usually go after a certain period of dieting so I have to stop myself and pull myself back unto the right path. That's why I am so insistent on watching the Biggest Loser every night. It is inspiration for me and keeps me motivated.

I am forcing myself to drink lots of water everyday. It is not easy.. I hope that it will soon become a normal habit for me.

Lorraine is doing well. She is getting a lot of exercise and I can see that she has lost a bit of weight. I am happy for her. She is trying her best to resist temptations and I am proud of her for that.

So updates on the MBA - well I went to Segi Kota Damansara and filled up the form for transfer to the Subang Jaya campus. They asked me to send them my updated resume (which i sent today) and they need new copies of my degree cert and transcripts. Oh gosh... that I am having trouble with because I have no idea where they are! Once they have all that, then they will apply to USQ to see if they will allow me to transfer to their program from my previous one under USC without having to start over. I have done 3 or 4 subjects already. I don't want to repeat those!!

Mama is getting better but still having pain so needs to limit her movements. She called me earlier. She has been feeling funny and she ended up throwing up. I asked Ivan to go over and keep an eye on her. He is planning to cook dinner for her and Rayna so told him to cook there straight away.

I am glad tomorrow is a holiday. I just want to rest and relax. Saturday is going to be a busy day of running around getting stuff done.

Till the next time

A new beginning

I have been doing some soul searching and I have finally FINALLY come to a decision that I will let NOTHING and NO ONE.... really NO ONE, not even people who I consider close friends and who turn on me for no reason ever get me down again EVER.

I have for so long been getting advise from my hubby and family and some friends not to let these nasty, gossipy, vindictive and childish people affect me and so after the affair gossip bullshit, I spent some time in my thoughts and on April 12th, I came to that conclusion - that the only thing I should care about is not about whether my colleagues or supposed "friends" are happy with me or like me or whatever, but that first and foremost, that I am right with God and secondly, my husband and thirdly, my family.

I felt such a huge burden lift off my shoulders after that decision and the next week which was last week, when someone at the office who is supposed to be my good friend turned around and accused me unfairly without even knowing the facts and also got angry and showed her true colours because she did not like me telling her; even though it was put very nicely; that I did not like something she had said to me as I felt it was as if she was disrespecting me as the boss; ..... well it didn't affect me at all..

Previously, I would have been hurt and upset by thate, but the amazing thing is that I wasn't! The only thing is even though I have come across many cases of people not knowing where to draw the line between work and friendship, well I was surprised in this case because this was totally unexpected from this person who I have seen as a good friend for so long. And I found it so funny that the person that she has bad mouthed about many times previously was the first person she went too see to bitch about it.... and did some of the same things this person has done before which she laughed at her for!! I had a good laugh about that.

So I am glad that God has helped me to not get affected about all this. And I have learned my lesson - AGAIN and I hope for the last time - to be friendly with people at work but to not be friends with them.... again it reinforces to me why I only have a small group of very good friends that I trust with knowing every single thing in my life - because no matter what happens - I know that we can always count on each other. My best friend B...we met when we started working together years ago. And we used to have disagreements at work - and we would fight - but then after that we would be back to normal because we knew how to differentiate work issues with personal issues and we never let one affect the other. So no matter how many times we got pissed off with each other with work issues or got told off about mistakes or wrong doings or whatever, we could still go for lunch and hang out after work and on weekends with no malice, no hard feelings and no issues because we knew how not to cross the lines... That is why we ended being best friends.

I miss Bobo. I called her yesterday and we had a nice talk. She thought it funny that when I am on MC and at home, I don't call her but when I am at work, I can call her :-) I am a bad friend for which I apologised. I miss her and I am looking forward to seeing her in a few weeks. It is her daughters 1st birthday party on the 9th of May so I am going to go and spend time with them. I am looking forward to that; definitely!

I truly have joy in my heart. I have been feeling very happy these past 2 weeks. While circumstances are not perfect in my life; but I have so much blessings too and so much to be thankful for. So I can honestly say that I am happy and I am going to constantly remind myself of the blessings and joy in my life and try to be a blessing to others.

I hope that all my loved ones will also keep the flame of Joy and Love alive in their hearts!

hmmmmm

So the past week plus has been ok I guess. I was happy to be back at work but waking up early sucks man!! But so much nonsense to deal with in the office this week...

Latest news is that I am supposedly having an affair with my boss!! God the things people come up with! It amazes me how there are so many petty and vindictive people in the office who definitely don't have social lives because all they ever do is spread malicious gossip about people.... why they get fun and entertainment out of that I don't know but I pity them - because obviously they have sad, pathetic lives and have nothing else to enjoy or look forward too..!

I lost only 0.3kg this week but at least i lost lots of cms so its not so bad. Except yesterday I feasted on a tupperware full of my mum in laws famous ikan bilis sambal... so very unhealthy! But i love it!

Lorraine is joining me on the TCD diet so it won't be so lonely for me. I really am thankful that God has brought her into my life (yes you Lorraine!!).. I couldnt have asked for a better friend to have. You amaze me all the time with your kindness and caringness and selflessness. Burke is a really lucky man and I am a lucky person to have you in my life!!

OK im getting a bit emo here aren't I?

So my hubby has gone to Penang for one night with Jason.. I called him yesterday and he was in a very good mood... not surprising since he had just finished a bottle of sake :-) It still amazes me how much I miss him everytime either I or him go away.... even if its only for one night!

Ivan has been "lecturing" me about me not spending time with my friends for so long. I have a very very small circle of close friends because I find it hard to trust people and let them get close to me. But even then, with work and all, I have not been spending time with them. I haven't seen Bobo since her baby girl was born a year ago!! And I haven't seen Jean in a few years! I'm glad I got to catch up with Devan, Dharmain and Jason V and Loraine Lingam recently. So i need to seriously start making an effort to go see people.. I guess I have become too comfortable just hanging out with Ivan's friends....or maybe i'm just lazy.. I sure am a sorry excuse for a friend!!

Anyway, I stayed at the hospital with Mama and Rayna last night. Aunty Rosa and Eddie came to visit. Eddie is bugging me about finishing my MBA and he is coming again tonight and we are going out for dinner so I need to give him some information ... sigh.... I told him we will go to Ben n Nicks for dinner. I like the environment and the food there.

I am glad it is Friday.. i hope the day goes by fast

Happy

I am still at home.. or rather at Mama's place. I went to see Uncle Vijiyan at the hospital yesterday. I stood for more than half hour and the pain just kept getting worse. Finally a nurse took me into his room to lie down on the bed. Not sure what happened but instead of coming at 9.30am, he came at 12pm! I think there was some patient emergency or something.

So anyway, uncle said I cant go back to work yet because sitting and standing hurts. So i am on MC until Monday and will see him on Monday again and then go back to work on Tuesday..

Everytime while I work, I yearn for a day off, but now, i wish I was at work... stupid me!

Good news for me though.. Shirley came for my weigh in today. I lost some more weight.. so in total since the 23rd of March I have lost 4.5kgs!! Yay!
My goal is to lose 1.5kg every week until June 20th which is KY and YC's wedding. I want to wear my brown dress (the one I wore for my tea ceremony). I can't fit into it now so I have to lose weight!

I have Lorraine as my partner.. we are going to help each other out and both look good at KY and YC's wedding! Right now that I am at home, Ivan and Rayna are making me healthy meals and im on a diet - but no exercise of course...!

I need all the strenght and willpower to do this...

hmmm

So its been awhile and dear Lorraine told me to blog.. :-)

Remember all the back pain I suffered for 3 weeks in Feb? Well i basically wasted my time going to the chiropractor. The accupuncture I dont regret because they helped reduce the swelling but I finally found out the reason for the pain.

I took my mom to SJMC on Saturday (28th March) because something happened to her. She had severe pain in her back and leg and couldnt walk on her leg and she was throwing up the whole night. So we took her to the ER. While waiting for the doctor (who is also my Uncle) to come, my back pain just kept getting worse and worse. I couldnt sit, I couldnt stand, so i was basically bent over leaning on my moms bed in the ER.

So i ask my uncle for a jab and then lie down on a bed for awhile but after half an hour, there is still no relief. So my uncle says that I have to get an MRI scan, gives me another stronger jab and asks Ivan to get me admitted.

That was at 10 something in the morning. I was left in the ER until 4.30pm because the hospital was full and they couldnt get me a room! In between the technician came and took me for the MRI. I had a panic attack because I felt my arm brush against the side of the machine and then I stupidly opened my eyes. It really felt like I was inside a coffin. The technician had to take me out of the tunnel and give me awhile to calm down and then he agreed to take me out every 5 minutes (after each slide).

So anyway, I hate being stuck in hospitals. It sucks. Ivan and my mom in law came that night and the rest of the time I was alone. The next day, my uncle says that I cant go home because the scan showed that I had 2 slipped discs in my back and i was a borderline for surgery.

I ended up being stuck in hospital until Thursday! Lorraine came twice to visit and she was really great! Aunty Sharm and Dhanisha came, Aunty Narindar came, Melissa and Intan came, then on Wednesday, Tracy, Mei, Jessica and Jun and then Wayne, Eric and Mawar came to visit. Of course my darling father came every day. Rayna couldnt come because she had to take care of mama and Shayna n KP were too busy with work :-(

So anyway, today is Saturday. I am staying at my moms place for a few days because its a condo so I dont have to walk up and down stairs.

However, I have been moving about which I shouldnt be doing and the pain is bad. I have to be a good girl and just stay in bed but its hard. I guess its a good thing Uncle kept me in the hospital that long. Actually to be honest, I feel now (even though I was in cloud nine when he said I could go home on Thursday), that I should have stayed in the hospital another day or two. At least I wouldnt have moved much.

Oh well.... I have been working from home. Su Leng and Cynthia came over for a few hours yesterday for a meeting. I dont think Lawrence is too happy with me being out of the office.. sigh

On a brighter note, Jason Victor came to visit me yesterday. I havent seen him in soooo long so it was good to catch up. I cant believe that we have been good friends for 12 years now..

I am feeling alone, and lost, and worried... I feel like I dont have many people that I can talk too and be myself with and share my thoughts with. I miss Bobo. I havent seen her in one year! Once my back is healed, I am so going to meet up with her..

ok my back is hurting.. im signing off now

I was glad they came because I was going crazy being alone!